Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Dear Blogger,

I'm afraid I've been a bit unfaithful in our relationship.

I've been cheating on you, with a slew of hussied up parenting discussion forums with big hair and too-dark lipstick. Sure, they're not as fulfilling and meaningful as this relationship has been in the past. But they served a purpose for me for a short time, during a period of weakness on my part.

During my pregnancy, I was a bit freaked out. You see, I hadn't been pregnant in years, and the thought of being pregnant again was alien to me. After monkey #3 had been born, we spent a few years thinking we were done having kids. Planning for a new kid meant shifting my thoughts and focus back to having babies again! Planning for a new kid also meant having to learn everything I could about the safety, methods, and preparation regarding giving birth naturally after a prior cesarean. Monkey #3's birth (a cesarean) had been fairly traumatic for me, and had led to a LOOOOOOONG period of post-partum depression, so I was interested in avoiding a similar trauma this time around.

And then I found out it was TWINS-- WHOA! That of course necessitated trying to find other twin mamas online who had similar views on birth, breastfeeding, cosleeping, etc.

So, I'm afraid I became a bit addicted to the online support and chit chat I found on Babycenter, MDC, and NPT.

So now, the babies are here. The birth went well. Breastfeeding is established and going off without a hitch. Cosleeping rocks for lazy breastfeeding moms, twins or not. And all is well in the world of The Thinking Southerner. I have no excuse for my behavior. As it stands now, most of my online discussion forums are no longer uber-useful, and are primarily a form of entertainment. It's so different from my typically dysfunction-free real life to watch supposedly grown women fight online as if they are still stuck on the middle school playground. So different, so exotic and unusual and enticing...

And then there's the nak. In case you, Dear Blogger, are not familiar with the mommy discussion board lingo, nak stands for "nursing at keyboard." Most of the time that I'm sitting still long enough to open a browser and hit the keys, there's a baby hanging off my boob. Typing one handed lends itself to shorter and less meaningful posts, which isn't exactly my preferred blog posting style. Typing two handed while nursing means that I have to perfect my acrobat routine, as balancing a baby (or two) on my knees (which are propped up on the computer desk) while trying to hold a stream of thought is not easy.

And that, old friend, is why so many of the posts you've had lately have been quizzes, or reposts, or plain old lazy and un-thought-provoking.

So, Dear Blogger, there you have it. My lame attempt at an excuse for my infidelity. I know I am not deserving of your love, but if by some chance you'll have me back, I'll try to do better from now on. Just be patient with me as I rebuild our relationship-- I've been through LOTS of change.

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